Avoidant Attachment: Clearing Emotional Blocks

Dr Lisa Turner

Dr Lisa Turner

World renowned visionary, author, high-performance mindset trainer for coaches to elevate skills, empower clients to achieve their maximum potential

If you’ve noticed a pattern of pushing people away or feel discomfort with closeness in relationships, you could be experiencing avoidant attachment – and you’re not alone. This attachment style typically develops in early childhood and can travel with you into adulthood, influencing how you interact in close relationships. It’s characterized by a strong need for independence and self-sufficiency. However, this can often result in creating emotional blocks that hinder deep, meaningful connections with others and perpetuates the resistance to love you are experiencing within yourself.

Understanding your avoidant attachment is the first step towards clearing these emotional blocks within your nervous system. It requires you to recognize the defenses you put up, perhaps as a means of self-protection from past disappointments or trauma. While the intention behind these walls is to avoid vulnerability, they can also prevent the nurturing of healthy relationships. The realization that vulnerability is not synonymous with weakness, but rather a strength, is pivotal in this journey. It will allow you to stand in your power, and take on challenges you never thought yourself capable of.

Confronting emotional blocks is not an easy task, and it’s okay to move at a pace that feels right for you. Learning more about your attachment style can empower you to make conscious decisions in your relationships and could lead to a richer, more connected life. Conscious Emotional Transformation (CET)  is the quickest and most thorough way of overcoming these blocks and developing more secure attachments.

Understanding Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment is a specific style of relating to others, formed early in life, that can significantly affect your interactions and relationships as an adult, especially in how you manage emotional closeness and connection.

Origins in Childhood

As you developed in your early years, your attachment style began to take shape. If your caregivers were emotionally unavailable or unresponsive, you might have developed an avoidant attachment style. John Bowlby’s attachment theory suggests that the level of security and emotional availability provided by parents or primary caregivers is critical in forming your future attachment styles. If as a child, your emotional needs were often not met, or if seeking support was discouraged, you might have learned to deal with emotions independently.

Characteristics of Avoidant Attachment

People with an avoidant attachment style typically:

  • • Prioritize independence, often equating it with personal strength.
  • • Maintain emotional distance in relationships.
  • • Are uncomfortable with intimacy and might struggle to share feelings or deal with others’ emotions.
  • • Value self-sufficiency to the point where they may avoid relying on others, even when it may be beneficial.
Avoidant Attachment in Adult Relationships

In adult relationships, avoidant attachment manifests in several ways:

  • • You might find yourself withdrawing from your partner to maintain a sense of independence.
  • • Intimacy could feel threatening, leading to a reluctance to engage in deeper, more meaningful interactions.
  • • You may prefer less closeness with your romantic or sexual partners, because you value your autonomy over shared vulnerability.
  • • Emotional communication is often limited and can inhibit the formation of deeper trust.
Impact on Emotional Regulation and Needs

If you have an avoidant attachment style, your approach to emotional regulation and acknowledging your emotional needs can be particularly challenging.

  • • You’re likely to suppress or ignore your emotional needs and sometimes dismissing the need for emotional support from others.
  • • Showing vulnerability is often unsettling and can lead to a lack of emotional intimacy, even in close relationships.
  • • Instead of seeking comfort from others, you might rely on internal mechanisms to handle emotional distress.

Your understanding of these different aspects of avoidant attachment style can be crucial in recognizing patterns in your own behaviour and may guide you in reshaping how you connect with others.

Navigating and Healing Avoidant Attachment

To effectively navigate and heal from avoidant attachment, it’s crucial to understand the specific strategies that cultivate more secure relationships. CET eliminates resistance and allows a surge of high vibrational energy to permeate the nervous system. This process enhances emotional resilience and, consequently, leads to an expansion of your emotional intimacy skills. Unveiling profound new insights and mastery, it bestows upon you the inner strength, resilience, courage, and power to act on the wonderful opportunities that await your discovery!

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