Anxious Attachment: Clearing Emotional Blocks

Dr Lisa Turner

Dr Lisa Turner

World renowned visionary, author, high-performance mindset trainer for coaches to elevate skills, empower clients to achieve their maximum potential

Anxious attachment style is a pattern of emotional behaviour characterized by a deep fear of abandonment and an excessive need for reassurance and closeness from others. This attachment style traces back to early relationships and bonding experiences. Understanding anxious attachment is essential for individuals who find themselves in a continuous cycle of relationship anxiety, often feeling insecure, clingy, or overly dependent on the emotional validation provided by their partners. But you don’t have to feel that way forever!

People with an anxious attachment often experience a heightened sensitivity to their partner’s moods and actions, constantly seeking signs of approval or love. This hyper-vigilance can result in significant emotional turmoil, as their self-worth may become intertwined with their partner’s responsiveness. This attachment style can lead to a challenging pattern where their neediness potentially pushes their partners away, which in turn reinforces their fears of abandonment.

Identifying and acknowledging the presence of anxious attachment is the first step towards clearing emotional blocks and moving towards healthier relationships. It involves recognizing the origins of one’s emotional responses and learning new ways of relating to others that strengthen their sense of security and independence. With this understanding, individuals can begin to break the cycle of anxiety, develop emotional resilience, and build stronger, more balanced connections with those around them.

Understanding Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment is a style established from early childhood experiences, often persisting into adult relationships, characterized by a strong fear of abandonment and insecurity.

But where does anxious attachment stem from?

Anxious attachment typically develops in response to inconsistent parenting during childhood. Caregivers who are inconsistent with their attention, warmth, and availability can lead to a child feeling insecure. As attachment theory proposes, children adapt by becoming clingy, seeking constant reassurance to satisfy an unmet need for emotional closeness.

Characteristics of Anxious Attachment Style

Individuals with an anxious attachment style may display:

  • • A heightened sensitivity to their partner’s moods and actions
  • Jealousy or fear that their loved ones will leave them
  • • A tendency to be overly clingy or dependent on others for reassurance
  • • Chronic insecurity and trust issues, coupled with a strong fear of abandonment
Effects on Personal Relationships

The effects on personal relationships are significant:

  • • They may struggle with establishing trust and often worry about their partner’s commitment.
  • • Their need for emotional closeness can lead to intense and sometimes overwhelming emotional experiences within romantic partnerships.
  • • Conflicts may arise from their desire for reassurance and their partner’s need for space.
Identifying Anxious Attachment Triggers

To manage anxious attachment, one must identify and understand their triggers. Common triggers include:

  • Stress or conflict in the relationship
  • • Perceived or real instances of rejection or abandonment
  • • Any changes in the level of commitment or affection from their partner

Identifying these triggers is crucial in learning to respond to stressors with healthier coping mechanisms. Identification can change the course of events that follow, from spiralling further, to mindfully making note of your physical safety in the present moment.

Strategies for Healing and Growth

To navigate the complexities of an anxious attachment style, individuals may engage in various strategies aimed at emotional healing and developing security in relationships. These strategies include inner work to nurture self-awareness, effort to form healthier bonds, and utilizing Conscious Emotional Transformation (CET) to remove the resistance to love that has built up in one’s nervous system.

Developing Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness is a foundational step in understanding one’s own attachment style and the triggers that exacerbate anxiety. Mindfulness techniques and meditation can enhance self-regulation, allowing one to respond to stress in a more balanced way. Individuals might also:

  • • Keep a journal to track emotional responses and patterns.
  • • Engage in reflective practices like meditation to increase self-awareness.

If you’d like to try meditation, we have a free course available here.

Building Secure Relationships

Creating healthy relationships is vital for establishing trust and security. Individuals should strive for interactions that offer comfort and reassurance. Following are ways to cultivate secure connections:

  • • Practice open communication to build trust.
  • • Seek relationships that reinforce positive self-worth and self-esteem.

To skillfully navigate and heal from anxious attachment, it’s crucial to explore specific strategies that promote the development of more secure relationships. CET dismantles obstacles, enabling a surge of high vibrational energy to permeate the nervous system. This transformative process strengthens emotional resilience, ultimately leading to more confidence. With CET, you will be able to do things you never thought possible and live life to the fullest!


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