The Belief That Intelligence Protects You Is Wrong. Here Is Why.
There is a persistent belief in public conversation about coercive control that goes something like this: if you are smart enough, perceptive enough…
The Point at Which You No Longer Need Them to Do It
There is a stage in prolonged coercive control that receives almost no attention in the clinical literature and virtually none in public conversation.
The Safest Place to Run an Abuse Detection Tool Might Not Be the Obvious One
The logic is straightforward. Digital abuse happens on phones. Messages arrive on phones. Screenshots are taken on phones.
When the Tool Finds Nothing
There is a result from an AI abuse detection tool that nobody talks about.
What the EU AI Act Actually Bans, and Why Practitioners Keep Getting it Wrong
A client asks whether the app her employer has introduced is something she should worry about.
Every Time You Think in a New Way, You Expand Your Nervous System
There is a particular quality to the difficulty of abstract thinking that is worth naming, because most people experience it as a failing rather than…
What Gossip Actually Is — and Why It Feels So Hard to Stop
Most people, when asked why gossip is problematic, will give answers that focus on the consequences: it damages relationships, it spreads…
The Boundary That Doesn’t Ask to Be Loved
There is a pattern I have seen enough times to recognise its shape immediately. Someone has a conflict with a person they care about.
How to Find Yourself in Behaviour You Find Abhorrent
There is a version of the projection model that I find actively harmful, and I want to address it before going any further.
I’m Promising You Nothing — and That’s the Point
There is a question I get asked, in various forms, whenever I talk about the deeper levels of transformation work. What do you actually get?