When the Tool Finds Nothing
There is a result from an AI abuse detection tool that nobody talks about. Not the false positive, where the tool flags something that turns out to be nothing. The false negative: where the tool finds nothing, and the person using it concludes that nothing is wrong. For most applications, a false negative is a […]
What the EU AI Act Actually Bans, and Why Practitioners Keep Getting it Wrong
A client asks whether the app her employer has introduced is something she should worry about. A consultant wants to know which conversation-analysis tool you would recommend to an organisation trying to get ahead of a harassment problem. A colleague asks whether the thing advertising itself to her clients as manipulation detection is legitimate. These […]
Every Time You Think in a New Way, You Expand Your Nervous System
There is a particular quality to the difficulty of abstract thinking that is worth naming, because most people experience it as a failing rather than as a feature. When asked to move from the specific to the abstract — to keep asking “what is this an example of?” until they arrive somewhere genuinely unfamiliar — […]
What Gossip Actually Is — and Why It Feels So Hard to Stop
Most people, when asked why gossip is problematic, will give answers that focus on the consequences: it damages relationships, it spreads misinformation, it creates a culture of distrust. These are all true. And they are almost entirely ineffective as reasons to stop. The people I have encountered who successfully changed their relationship to gossip did […]
The Boundary That Doesn’t Ask to Be Loved
There is a pattern I have seen enough times to recognise its shape immediately. Someone has a conflict with a person they care about. The conflict is real: something happened that was genuinely not okay. The other person shouted, criticised, dismissed, or hurt them in some way that left a mark. There is a period […]
How to Find Yourself in Behaviour You Find Abhorrent
There is a version of the projection model that I find actively harmful, and I want to address it before going any further. That version says: because everything in your experience is a projection, you are responsible for what other people do to you. If someone treats you badly, you created that reality. Their bad […]
I’m Promising You Nothing — and That’s the Point
There is a question I get asked, in various forms, whenever I talk about the deeper levels of transformation work. What do you actually get? It is a fair question. And the honest answer is: nothing I can point to in advance. I can tell you what I have seen happen. I can point to […]
The Physical World Is So Compelling It Makes Us Forget There’s More. That’s the Trap!
I want to talk about something that does not often get described clearly, because the people who have experienced it tend to reach for language that is too large, and the people who haven’t tend to dismiss it before the sentence is finished. The thing I want to describe is this: there is a particular […]
Anger Is Not What You Think It Is
Anger has a reputation problem. In most of the contexts in which people discuss it — therapy, coaching, personal development, organisational culture — it is treated primarily as something to manage. Something to understand the roots of, ideally to process and release, and ultimately to reduce. A problem state. A signal that something has gone […]
Set Three Alarms. Call One “Remember Your Source.”
This is a practical article about a small thing that turns out to matter more than it looks. The instruction is this: set three alarms on your phone, at points throughout your waking day that are realistic and sustainable. Name each one. Not “alarm” or a time. A name that, when you look at it […]