What Gossip Actually Is — and Why It Feels So Hard to Stop
Most people, when asked why gossip is problematic, will give answers that focus on the consequences: it damages relationships, it spreads…
The Boundary That Doesn’t Ask to Be Loved
There is a pattern I have seen enough times to recognise its shape immediately. Someone has a conflict with a person they care about.
How to Find Yourself in Behaviour You Find Abhorrent
There is a version of the projection model that I find actively harmful, and I want to address it before going any further.
I’m Promising You Nothing — and That’s the Point
There is a question I get asked, in various forms, whenever I talk about the deeper levels of transformation work. What do you actually get?
The Physical World Is So Compelling It Makes Us Forget There’s More. That’s the Trap!
I want to talk about something that does not often get described clearly, because the people who have experienced it tend to reach for language that is…
Anger Is Not What You Think It Is
Anger has a reputation problem. In most of the contexts in which people discuss it — therapy, coaching, personal development, organisational culture —…
Set Three Alarms. Call One “Remember Your Source.”
This is a practical article about a small thing that turns out to matter more than it looks.
We Are Not Fundamentally Selfish. We Just Built Systems that Forgot That.
The dominant story about human nature, at least in the West, runs something like this: people are fundamentally self-interested.
Chunking Up: The Technique That Links Your Sister’s Anger to Your Business Finances
There is a moment in certain kinds of inner work when two things connect that have absolutely no business being connected.
Forgiveness Is Not the Goal
The personal development world has a complicated relationship with forgiveness.