Why the Confusion Is the Point
Every experienced practitioner has one. The client who arrives engaged, reflective, articulate about her own patterns and genuinely willing to do the…
Why One Message Never Proves Anything, and What Does
There is a moment that happens in nearly every first session with someone trying to make sense of a controlling relationship. They reach for their phone.
The Question a Therapist Asked Me That I Still Can’t Fully Answer
A therapist once asked me how much I thought I had healed from what happened to me.
The Belief That Intelligence Protects You Is Wrong. Here Is Why.
There is a persistent belief in public conversation about coercive control that goes something like this: if you are smart enough, perceptive enough…
The Point at Which You No Longer Need Them to Do It
There is a stage in prolonged coercive control that receives almost no attention in the clinical literature and virtually none in public conversation.
The 4 Stages of Grooming: A Framework for Seeing What You Couldn’t Name
There is a reason that coercive control is so difficult to identify in real time. It is not because the people experiencing it are unintelligent.
Physical Violence Is Often a Sign They’re Losing Control
There is a belief so deeply embedded in our cultural understanding of abusive relationships that almost nobody questions it.
Why sleep deprivation in personal development is a control mechanism, not a devotion test
If you look closely at the schedules of some of the most famous, high-ticket personal development seminars in the world, you will notice a glaring pattern.