If you ever hear me speak on a stage, or start a new training, you will almost always hear me say this phrase: Nothing I say is the truth, but neither is it a lie. It is a model.
We use models where they are useful, and we discard them where they are not.
This might sound like a strange way for a teacher to introduce their life’s work. We are conditioned to expect gurus to hand down absolute, unquestionable truths from the mountaintop. But presenting a concept as the ultimate truth isn’t just arrogant; it’s fundamentally inaccurate. And in the world of consciousness work, it can be deeply harmful.
The Engineering of Reality
I often use the analogy of my PhD. My background is in mathematical modeling of airflow over components to predict how much noise they will make. And the model I used works unbelievably well. It is accurate to plus or minus about ten percent, which in engineering terms is fantastic.
But here is the catch: it only works up to the speed of sound.
As soon as you hit the speed of sound, you get compressibility. The flow becomes non-Newtonian. The air changes. The model just doesn’t work anymore. So, what do you do? You don’t force the air to behave like the model. You just stop using that model.
The Danger of Universal Application
In the consciousness space, we have a terrible habit of taking a beautiful, useful model and trying to apply it past the speed of sound.
Take the concept that “we create our own reality.” Applied appropriately, in the right context, and with deep compassion, it can be incredibly empowering. It can help someone shift out of victim thinking and ask, “What am I going to do with this experience?”
But what happens when you apply that model universally? What happens when you apply it to a child who has been abused? Or to systemic oppression? If you take it to the extreme, you end up telling victims of horrific violence that they “attracted” it.
That is what happens when a model becomes dogma. Spiritual concepts applied without context and compassion become weapons.
The Power of Epistemic Humility
When you adopt the stance that your frameworks are models, not absolute truths, you practice epistemic humility.
This is a massive relief for both you and your clients. It means you don’t have to have the answer for everything. It means you can look at a client’s complex, painful reality and say, “The tool we’ve been using doesn’t fit here. Let’s put it down.”
It builds profound trust. When you don’t demand that your worldview explains literally everything, you leave room for the client’s lived experience. You leave room for nuance, for mystery, and for genuine human connection.
How to Audit Your Frameworks
Look at the core concepts you teach or live by. Where are their limits? Where is their “speed of sound”?
Identify the edge cases where your favorite model breaks down. If you teach radical personal responsibility, where does that concept cross the line into victim-blaming?
Hold Your Tools Lightly
A good model is a tool, not a religion. Use it when it builds up, empowers, and clarifies. The moment it starts to minimize someone’s humanity or deny their lived reality, put the tool down. The truth is always bigger than the model.
